the elevator pitch

talking to the top

Stephen Colbert Flashes His iPad

Published February 1st, 2010 in Innovations in PR, PR News | No Comments »

ipad-stephen-colbertSo there was this little event on TV this weekend called The Grammy’s. Not sure if anyone out there in internet-land has heard of it, but it’s basically this live show where every famous person in the world gathers in nice dresses and tuxedos to bask in their own glory. Under normal circumstances these are a bore beyond belief, but this year’s show gave us a little bit of tech in the mix.

Stephen Colbert showed how hip he is to the techno-kids these days by pretending to lose his list of nominees for some category everyone has already forgotten about. But instead of freaking out and making up the winner (which is what some celebs may have resorted to), Colbert opened up his suit jacket and pulled out his brand new iPad. Other than the Internet and various tech-based shows, this is the first time the iPad has been showcased on national TV since it’s unveiling last week.

How did the audience react? Well, as you’ll see, Jay-Z was impressed, but it didn’t convince everyone in the audience. Much in the same way the iPad hasn’t taken the world by storm yet, even famous people are having their doubts about it. Have a look below:

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Stephen Colbert Is Not a Straight Man

Published January 18th, 2009 in Uncategorized | No Comments »

The Colbert ReportMon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Anthony Romero

Have you noticed openly gay men are the only ones who can fluster Stephen Colbert? Anthony Romero of the ACLU got the host of the Colbert Report to clam up recently. And you do remember how Dan Savage turned Colbert red-faced a few months ago with the mere mention of oily gay sex.

Nine out of 10 of Colbert’s guests fall easily into the role of his foil. That one out of 10, though, man do they seem to get Colbert’s back up. This observation brings us to this week’s Have You Heard: Have you heard Stephen Colbert is not a straight man.

And, yes, there is something wrong with that.

Colbert’s job is to always be funnier than the other guy. But whenever a fellow with a certain amount of, shall we say, panache enters the room, the hero of late-night hipster viewers crumbles like Heath Ledger holding Jake Gyllenhaal’s shirt.

Could it be that Colbert is living a lie? He’s supposedly a family man from the south playing the role of a conservative family man from the south with dim wits.

Could it be a façade? Could Colbert really be just another intellectual heterosexual man who wants to be liberal-minded but reverts to redneckiness when propositioned by a horny member of the same sex? Do gay men carry the rock that contains the Kryptonite to Colbert’s humor?

(more…)

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Stephen Colbert Put on Notice

Published January 2nd, 2009 in PR Stunts | 1 Comment »

 


 The Colbert Report
ThreatDown – Happiness

 

Are we a greater threat than happiness? Sadly, yes.

Resolutions are like wars: You can choose to win a small battle (drop a waistline inch or two) or you can aim to take it all (go Schwarzenneger on your abs). At The Elevator Pitch, we go big or we go to the bar. That’s why our resolution for 2009 is to get ourselves mentioned on the biggest show on late night television that doesn’t appear on basic cable, doesn’t include a disclaimer about nudity and extreme violence, and isn’t hosted by Jon Stewart. The Colbert Report: we want you to want us to know that you know we exist.

It’s a blatant ploy to get rich. Stephen Colbert acknowledges our presence, you say what’s up with that, you come visit, you tell your friends to come visit, they tell their friends, and so on, until we can spin all that attention into credit default swaps and sell them to what’s left of Iceland.

We will not relent until The Colbert Report recognizes us as a threat, or friend of the show, or thing to put on notice, or just throws us a bone, and not necessarily the femur, either; we’ll take a knuckle or the cartilage about the ear. So, come on, Stephen, just four words: “The Elevator Pitch [and verb of your choice].”

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Stocking Stuffers for Barack Obama, Dick Cheney and Others

Published December 24th, 2008 in PR Stunts | No Comments »

It’s time for the first annual stocking stuffers by the Elevator Pitch. Some of our recipients are getting gifts, others coal.


Barack Obama – A lifetime supply of Rothman’s Light. Sure, the Prez-elect says he’s trying to quit, but the smoking thing gives this guy a much-needed vice, proving he’s actually not Christ 2.0 or even a health nut, as his famous pose on the Hawaiian beach suggests.

Dick Cheney – A box (dick, box, get it). This one will have bars and metal. The outgoing veep is as responsible as anyone for the dire state of the planet and yet he refuses to do nothing but smack talk when American voters have made it clear they’re so done with bickering politicians.

America – Bobby McFerrin redux. “Here’s a little song I wrote, you might want to sing it note for note …” You know the rest.

Vladimir Putin – A copy of “Mending Wall” by Robert Frost. It may help the Russian PM locate his soul.

Nouriel Roubini – A new title. Dr. Doom is overdone. Something that includes the words “economic adviser” and “to the president” seems a better fit for an economist who’s proven to be one of the world’s most prescient.

Gerald Celente – Coal. The dude’s giddy about gloom. Like Roubini, he called the economic collapse; unlike Dr. Doom, Celente has no answers. Yeah, okay, we’re in deep shit. And you called it. Bully for you. Now, stop patting yourself on the back and show you’re really bright by coming up with some ideas of how we can get out of the mess.

Bernie Madoff – A lice-infested mattress. You should never have a good night’s sleep again.

Tiger Woods – A grand slam. You went down, now you’re trying to get back up. The knee’s repaired. It’s a new year. Your country wants to believe it can be great again. You can show it can be done.

MIA – Keys to the big time. Born in Sri Lanka, educated in Britain, this hip-hop powerhouse is poised to become a global star if her next album delivers on its promise.

Stephen Colbert – A better public relations team. We hear you’re not that popular in the Greater Antilles.

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