the elevator pitch

talking to the top

Stocking Stuffers for Barack Obama, Dick Cheney and Others

Published December 24th, 2008 in PR Stunts | No Comments »

It’s time for the first annual stocking stuffers by the Elevator Pitch. Some of our recipients are getting gifts, others coal.


Barack Obama – A lifetime supply of Rothman’s Light. Sure, the Prez-elect says he’s trying to quit, but the smoking thing gives this guy a much-needed vice, proving he’s actually not Christ 2.0 or even a health nut, as his famous pose on the Hawaiian beach suggests.

Dick Cheney – A box (dick, box, get it). This one will have bars and metal. The outgoing veep is as responsible as anyone for the dire state of the planet and yet he refuses to do nothing but smack talk when American voters have made it clear they’re so done with bickering politicians.

America – Bobby McFerrin redux. “Here’s a little song I wrote, you might want to sing it note for note …” You know the rest.

Vladimir Putin – A copy of “Mending Wall” by Robert Frost. It may help the Russian PM locate his soul.

Nouriel Roubini – A new title. Dr. Doom is overdone. Something that includes the words “economic adviser” and “to the president” seems a better fit for an economist who’s proven to be one of the world’s most prescient.

Gerald Celente – Coal. The dude’s giddy about gloom. Like Roubini, he called the economic collapse; unlike Dr. Doom, Celente has no answers. Yeah, okay, we’re in deep shit. And you called it. Bully for you. Now, stop patting yourself on the back and show you’re really bright by coming up with some ideas of how we can get out of the mess.

Bernie Madoff – A lice-infested mattress. You should never have a good night’s sleep again.

Tiger Woods – A grand slam. You went down, now you’re trying to get back up. The knee’s repaired. It’s a new year. Your country wants to believe it can be great again. You can show it can be done.

MIA – Keys to the big time. Born in Sri Lanka, educated in Britain, this hip-hop powerhouse is poised to become a global star if her next album delivers on its promise.

Stephen Colbert – A better public relations team. We hear you’re not that popular in the Greater Antilles.

[Post to Twitter] Tweet This Post 

The End of America or the Start of a Bull Run?

Published August 20th, 2008 in PR News | 1 Comment »

Guessing on the State of the US Economy

“This might be the beginning of the end of the American empire.” Those are the sober words of Nouriel Roubini as quoted by the New York Times Magazine in an article that has quickly spread around the World Wide Web.

Roubini is the prescient doomsayer who predicted the collapse of the global banking system two years ago. His astute forecast has launched him into a position of prominence in the economic and political community. Contrast the New York University prof’s gloomy outlook — he calls himself a realist, not a pessimist — with the enthusiasm displayed by financial-show talking heads and you have a bear vs. bull drama worth contemplating.

In Roubini, we can see a man who appears to have no motive other than to do his job as an economist, thereby gaining more stature within his profession. On the other hand, in CNBC personalities like Jim Cramer, we have people whose television success is tied to the health of the economy, specifically the stock market. Cramer and other financial gurus have risen to stardom during the past eight years because of Americans’ infatuation with day trading and passive income.

Best-selling books such as Robert Kiyosaki’s “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” and Thomas J. Stanley’s “The Millionaire Next Door” preach that Americans should put their money to work rather than work for their money. With the rise of the investor class — or those who aspire to be in it — came entertainment that caters to the demographic.

During the past 17 months, cable business news programs that often resemble CNN political forums have had to report daily on the continued demise of the banking system. That’s difficult to do. There can be a sudden outburst — as Cramer famously demonstrated last August — when a collapse seems imminent but to go on air every day and tell Americans they are going to get poorer doesn’t make for good TV. It’s atrocious work, actually. For a business that requires enthusiasm to keep viewers hooked and playing the market, the slow and painful beat down of a bear run has made watching the financial news shows seem like viewing a grim crew adrift and desperate for shore.

(more…)

[Post to Twitter] Tweet This Post