In the face of unprecedented extreme weather in Canada’s west coast, Air Canada drowned in incompetence and now faces a crisis-management situation that would seem daunting to any public relations professional.

The Victoria Times-Colonist, the newspaper of record in British Columbia’s capital, called Air Canada’s performance “atrocious” in a scathing editorial published on Monday. Among the violations of good customer relations was a hard-to-fathom episode on an airplane scheduled to depart from Vancouver to Toronto on a flight that usually takes a little less than five hours. But the passengers of that flight were grounded for 12 hours, stuck on a plane while crew members refused to let them get off.

That low was the worst of it, but not the only violation. Passengers idled in airports for hours while awaiting departure information, baggage was lost and has yet to be found, those who wanted an explanation were shooed away like pests and the ones who wanted a refund were given unclear information on how to receive their money.

“That kind of anti-customer attitude can only come from the upper ranks of the organization. It needs to change,” the Times-Colonist wrote.

The Calgary Herald reports that up to 2,000 customer complaints were filed against airlines over the holidays, according to Consumer Association of Canada, and the majority of the ill will surrounded Air Canada.

While its chief competitor, WestJet, also suffered through the severe weather, it seemed far less scathed by public criticism and its spokesperson said that’s because customer service is a core business policy. It reportedly spent about $2 million on customer care, including hotel rooms and meal vouchers.

“If you take care of your guests, the guest will take care of your business,” Robert Palmer told the Herald, adding that WestJet employees tried to make the delays around the holidays “a little less miserable” for passengers.

If nothing else, Air Canada execs should memo Palmer’s words to their managers and customer service representatives. Then they should make a public statement saying how they’re going to improve. They can’t blame the economy for the mess, nor lay it all on the weather, which was predicted. Part of living in the post-credit-mad world is taking ownership of your failures, not flying away from them as Air Canada has attempted to do.

Are we a greater threat than happiness? Sadly, yes.

Resolutions are like wars: You can choose to win a small battle (drop a waistline inch or two) or you can aim to take it all (go Schwarzenneger on your abs). At The Elevator Pitch, we go big or we go to the bar. That’s why our resolution for 2009 is to get ourselves mentioned on the biggest show on late night television that doesn’t appear on basic cable, doesn’t include a disclaimer about nudity and extreme violence, and isn’t hosted by Jon Stewart. The Colbert Report: we want you to want us to know that you know we exist.

It’s a blatant ploy to get rich. Stephen Colbert acknowledges our presence, you say what’s up with that, you come visit, you tell your friends to come visit, they tell their friends, and so on, until we can spin all that attention into credit default swaps and sell them to what’s left of Iceland.

We will not relent until The Colbert Report recognizes us as a threat, or friend of the show, or thing to put on notice, or just throws us a bone, and not necessarily the femur, either; we’ll take a knuckle or the cartilage about the ear. So, come on, Stephen, just four words: “The Elevator Pitch [and verb of your choice].”

Barack Obama – A lifetime supply of Rothman’s Light. Sure, the Prez-elect says he’s trying to quit, but the smoking thing gives this guy a much-needed vice, proving he’s actually not Christ 2.0 or even a health nut, as his famous pose on the Hawaiian beach suggests.

Dick Cheney – A box (dick, box, get it). This one will have bars and metal. The outgoing veep is as responsible as anyone for the dire state of the planet and yet he refuses to do nothing but smack talk when American voters have made it clear they’re so done with bickering politicians.

America – Bobby McFerrin redux. “Here’s a little song I wrote, you might want to sing it note for note …” You know the rest.

Vladimir Putin – A copy of “Mending Wall” by Robert Frost. It may help the Russian PM locate his soul.

Nouriel Roubini – A new title. Dr. Doom is overdone. Something that includes the words “economic adviser” and “to the president” seems a better fit for an economist who’s proven to be one of the world’s most prescient.

Gerald Celente – Coal. The dude’s giddy about gloom. Like Roubini, he called the economic collapse; unlike Dr. Doom, Celente has no answers. Yeah, okay, we’re in deep shit. And you called it. Bully for you. Now, stop patting yourself on the back and show you’re really bright by coming up with some ideas of how we can get out of the mess.

Bernie Madoff – A lice-infested mattress. You should never have a good night’s sleep again.

Tiger Woods – A grand slam. You went down, now you’re trying to get back up. The knee’s repaired. It’s a new year. Your country wants to believe it can be great again. You can show it can be done.

MIA – Keys to the big time. Born in Sri Lanka, educated in Britain, this hip-hop powerhouse is poised to become a global star if her next album delivers on its promise.

Stephen Colbert – A better public relations team. We hear you’re not that popular in the Greater Antilles.

Critics have derided Harper for failing to do anything to stimulate Canada’s languishing economy. So severe were the attacks that Harper opted two weeks ago to shut down Parliament until January 26 in order to save his job. By working with Ontario, Canada’s most populous province and the one with the overwhelming majority of the nation’s auto-related jobs, Harper showed something he hasn’t during this crisis: leadership and political will to tackle the issue and to convince others to do so as well.

The federal government will contribute $2.7 billion in loans to General Motors and Chrysler subsidiaries based in Canada, and the Ontario provincial government will provide the remaining $1.3 billion. Ford said it doesn’t need a loan at this time, but did ask for a line of credit in the event that it requires quick access to cash.

“This is a huge problem that faces the Ontario economy and the Canadian economy by extension and it is critical that we work together,” Harper said.

The loan package follows the U.S. government’s announced $17.4-billion bailout of The Big Three. It also includes aid for consumers looking for loans and auto-parts suppliers. Harper has also insisted that GM and Chrysler remain committed to keeping plants in Canada, a move sure to win in the public relations arena.

When he needed it the most, Harper came through by acting in what he and many others believes is in the best interest of the Canadian economy. If the financial markets stabilize over the next month, he may be able to hang on to his job because of it.

When Jon Stewart earlier this week kicked off The Daily Show with a lampoon of the strange happenings in Ottawa, it marked a new low for a nation in the middle of an unprecedented political calamity.

Stewart remarked that the attempt by opposition parties to oust Prime Minister Stephen Harper was baffling for Americans to comprehend.

“Force him from office? You can do that?” Stewart said. “Because we’ve had no confidence in our guy for quite some time now, and he’s taking forever to leave.”

The Daily Show’s jokes followed scathing criticism in The Economist, which called the opposition’s attempted coup and Harper’s petulant response “un-Canadian”, and critical coverage in mainstream media outlets around the world.

When Harper, a Conservative, shut down Parliament until January 26 in order to save his job, Canadians were outraged and the rest of the world became curious. Embroiled in the most turbulent economic crisis in a lifetime, the nation’s leader decided to halt government at a time the country is in great need of economic stimulus. That’s un-Democratic to his rivals, unbelievably stupid to many of his constituents and bizarre to everyone else.

In response, his rivals have acted fast. The Liberal party, which had banded together with the two other largest blocs in Parliament, replaced Stephane Dion with the more charismatic and articulate Michael Ignatieff as leader, acting under what it called emergency circumstances. Ignatieff is likely to be the nation’s next prime minister. Harper’s fate seems to be sealed.

When Ignatieff, 61, is in office, it will mark the first time the leaders of Canada and the United States share degrees from the same school. Both he and Barack Obama graduated (in different years) from Harvard University; Obama with a law degree, Ignatieff with a Ph.D in history.

Ignatieff, like Obama, is also an author and possesses a global outlook that was forged from time spent abroad. Ignatieff has lived in London and his wife is a Hungarian national.

Whether he has Obama’s gift for reconciliation and diplomacy with rivals remains to be seen. Perhaps with Harper out of the way, the partisanship that has plagued Canadian politics could fade. If it doesn’t, then the nation could find itself gaining more of the kind of attention its citizens find shameful.

Don’t laugh. We’re not the Weekly World News.

It’s a solution to the crisis that our team of editors and business professionals thinks likely to work. The benefit will be broad and multinational. Not only can the U.S. stop turning its currency into Monopoly money, it can react to the coming hyperinflation that’s sure to occur if it continues to print and dole out cash in a feverish attempt to stop the listing.

Yes, Hawaii is strategically important. But the truth is the U.S. will be reduced to a force that can only maintain influence when it threatens to unleash its arsenal. Other than that apocalyptic scenario, it will do as China demands if it continues to let that nation be its banker. China would be able to dictate what it wants or demand change – just as the U.S. has done to other nations in developing countries for so long.

According to U.S. government data, Hawaii’s population is approximately 1.3 million and its per-capita GDP rate is about $38,000, placing it 16th among the 50 states in that economic category and below the national per-capita GDP rate of $45,800. The state is 10,931 square miles and 80 percent of its land is government owned.

Saying aloha to that piece of paradise is brutal and today seemingly ridiculous. To get out of debt, though, individuals need to sell off assets. So do nations. With that mindset, peddling Hawaii makes sense. It is geographically close to China, a deal for it could be done without borders being erected and continental maps redrawn. Current residents could be given five years or so to relocate to the mainland before the property officially changes hands.

The details can be figured out. What we know is just about everyone on the planet continues to vex and harangue for a solution to the doom of what appears to be a protracted economic recession that will certainly lead to bloodletting across the world. Other solutions are complex and multi-layered. This proposal is one (giant) step. If you believe the worst-case scenarios (and we’re starting to based on analysis), then you can understand that the United States is on the precipice of calamity. Should the holiday shopping season be as dismal as predicted, top retailers will start to close stores in the first quarter of 2009, subsequently the malls they anchor will be vacated, hundreds of thousands more people will be out of work, the government will not be able to print money endlessly, it will not be in position to support all of those unemployment claims, and some of the masses of jobless people will turn to crime once their savings are depleted and the government checks stop coming.

It’s a nightmare. But one that seems more likely to become reality with each day the credit crisis prolongs. Getting out of debt is a painful, sobering process, but it is the surest way for individual Americans to regain leverage in life. Their government can set an example by taking an extreme, audacious step toward freeing up cash for its own uses by removing much of the $2.5 trillion it reportedly owes China.

For China, acquiring U.S. territory is a coup that punctuates its stature as the 21st century’s superpower and the vital force of influence in Asia. It can neutralize intervention from the west in matters it considers internal, such as its fractious relationship with Taiwan.

What the U.S. gains by sacrificing Hawaii is the long-sought-for bottom to the financial crisis. It is a severe punishment for reckless policy and behavior, but it offers a new beginning and that is what the country desperately needs: A way to cut and run from the debacle caused by its insane debt.

Showing up in private corporate jets not only showed a lack of foresight and undermined the end goal of getting money from the government, it revealed a ghastly disconnect with the public. As a communications professional, there are few challenges more daunting than overcoming public perception of aloofness and overindulgence in the face of widespread panic and asset deflation.

Even worse, the subsequent responses to criticism by General Motors, Ford and Chrysler was full of self-importance, finger-wagging and ego. Rather than own up to their massive misstep, the automakers blamed politicians and the media for focusing on the corporate-jet gambit then when GM canceled its lease for the airplanes it denied doing so in the light of the controversy. When the public was screaming for contrition from the Big Three, GM couldn’t stomach saying they’d screwed up.

“It’s no wonder the automakers have had such difficulties getting what they want,” says Kal Suurkask, general manager of Elevation PR. “Their communications strategies could definitely be characterized as lacking. They’ll have a chance to get it right in the coming days, in preparation to their return to Capitol Hill. We would suggest the communication advisers ensure that the CEOs get serious face time around Thanksgiving with their workers and their workers’ families in Detroit.”

On top of those PR appearances, the CEOs (Robert Nardelli of Chrysler, Alan Mulally of Ford and Rick Wagoner of GM) also need to do what Congress expects. Namely, produce a coherent plan to use the $25 billion in bailout money they’re seeking. Anything short of a sensible, actionable plan to steady their enterprises will be another disaster that earns mocking on Saturday Night Live.

These days, simple movie posters and guest appearances on late night just won’t cut it. The public sticks tight to the web, seeking rumors leaked to magazines and small tidbits of information revealed in doses to the correct audiences. Hollywood has turned to massive online marketing techniques such as posting on Facebook and blogs and creating user-generated content on forums to help push the anticipation to Star Wars-type levels. This isn’t the first time Abrams has done so. He snuck up on audiences with Cloverfield.

When Bad Robot (Abrams’ production company) announced it would be making a Star Trek feature, there was barely a script and all anyone had seen of the plans were a few 3D renderings of the Enterprise shown in front of the Transformers movie. As meager as this preview was, it still generated enough excitement to get people interested. When Abrams was asked about the film he revealed Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto. would have the same role. Star Trek now had an Enterprise, a story, and two Spocks!

The slow-reveal technique seemed to work nicely, especially for comic-book and science-fiction audiences. With only three small bits of information, various blogs and online forums exploded with gossip from Trekkies (or Trekkers, for those sensitive fans). People made assumptions, asked questions and, above all, found interest in the prospect of a new Star Trek film.

The next big reveal didn’t come until the following year when Abrams and Co. announced the full cast; Simon Pegg, Chris Pine, Quinto, Eric Bana, Winona Ryder and John Cho. Abrams didn’t cast any A-list actors, instead he went with young stars and successful character actors from franchises that could have potential crossover appeal. For example, Pegg came from Hot Fuzz, Cho from the acclaimed Harold and Kumar franchise and Quinto from Heroes. The cast not only offered Abrams a group of young and enthusiastic actors, it gave his film an instant audience. Suddenly Heroes, Harold and Kumar and Hot Fuzz fans were craving information about the film.

By now the cat is fully out of the bag and Star Trek is set for a May 8 release that will kick off the summer’s blockbuster movie season. So when you check out Quantum of Solace, make sure to get your popcorn, soft drink and Jr. Mints before the previews begin or you’ll miss what tons of people are talking about. Either that… Or you can watch it right here.

Nash - a two-time NBA MVP, leader of the Phoenix Suns, pride of Victoria, British Columbia and now . . . Vitamin Water Poster Boy? According the following three clips, Kid Canada spent this summer grooming himself, signing Shaq’s shoes and sliding through grocery stores.

Steve Nash at the Vitamin Water photo shoot.

Nash visits Vitamin Water HQ.

Nash shares his off-season training regimen.

Davis, the newest face of the LA Clippers, was actually a film major during his brief tenure at UCLA so stepping behind and in front of the camera is nothing new. Baron’s summer saw him move from California to, well, a different part of California in hopes of bringing a new kind of love to Clipperland.

Baron Davis goes to dinner.

Bosh, the most talented basketball player not residing in the U.S., apparently trained for his gold-medal Olympic performance by using martial arts.

Chris Bosh shows off his Iron Claw.

By bringing their own personalities to the forefront, NBA stars like Nash, BD and CB4 are humanizing themselves, rather than promoting the lavish lifestyle associated with being a pro jock. From a marketing perspective, these tactics work brilliantly in not only promoting a product, but promoting a person. Not everyone can be a multi-talented cross-genre media monster (think Shaq - more specifically think Kazaam the Rapping Genie). So using them as Vitamin Water did, as humble, Everyman characters, is effective in creating a connection with the audience. Nice work, guys - now it’s back to business on the court.

The latest installment of the Double-Oh Seven franchise hits theaters in a few days, so it’s a good time to explore some of the creative marketing behind the film’s release. Sure, other blog posts will review the movie and give you a biased version of a thumb rating, but here at the Elevator Pitch we’ll let you in on a little secret…

It doesn’t matter what you read about the movie, you’ll probably watch it anyways.

Back to the subject at hand, Quantum of Solace doesn’t hit theaters until November 14th, but what can you do to stay “Bond”? Check out some of the great online marketing behind the film of course!

There are always the usual suspects with a big budget film release like James Bond - Check out the website! Watch the trailer! Tell your friends about it! But Quantum of Solace is going the extra mile. There are currently 3 MAJOR promotions happening right now all surrounding the release of the film.

The first, and I think the most interesting, is an online scavenger hunt sponsored by AOL and Moviefone. Framed around the concept of a typical Bond mission, users are tasked to scour various websites for clues. The purpose? To get more entries to win the grand prize of a 35 hundred dollar Sony Entertainment server! Contests and prizes aside, this campaign works brilliantly by putting people in a game everyone can play within the Bond environment - sans the European cars and Maxim cover girls.

Next up is a joint campaign between Spike and Orbitz. In their “Live the Life of Bond” contest one lucky bloke and a friend will be flown round trip to England to spend 6 days living in style. Sipping martinis “Shaken, not stirred,” of course, exploring the Grosvenor Hotel and the kicker - become immortalized in the Quantum of Solace video game by having your very own character!

The final promotion is quite standard - win a trip to Australia courtesy of the film. The difference? The Aussie vacation comes complete with Alicia Keyes tickets courtesy of BET.com.

So with the hundreds of millions of dollars expected to be raked in by Daniel Craig and the next flavour of the month, it looks like you could actually get something out of it as well!